Be careful what you wish for

Meaning, be careful of ill (or not fully) considered wishes.

Taking caution when wanting something that may not turn out well for us has to be a common phenomenon, otherwise we wouldn't have this saying.

There are times in everyone’s life, where due to insufficient knowledge or experience, we want things that turn out to be detrimental to us. And then there are times when we want something that from the start we know is likely to be bad for us. In this instance, why do we want to achieve (what we will refer to as our Purpose) these negative things in the first place?

The answer to this lies in taking a step back and answering another question; how does my mind know what ‘I’ want? For example, I enter a bar, why do I order a drink rather than poke the barman in the eye? You could say, “It's obvious, that's what you do in a bar”. And yet there are plenty of fights in bars so why do I chose a drink rather than a fight or a meal or to play the slot machine. How did, ‘I’, my mind, know what to tell my body to do; what it wanted more than the other options. What sets one particular path or Purpose in motion?

The answer is our mind chooses what it wants because it has a mental picture of doing/achieving that thing. Next time you go for a coffee, notice that your mind will have a mental picture of having the coffee in your hand. This picture will include the smell, taste and temperature of the drink. Without mental pictures of achieving our Purposes we wouldn't do anything at all. Purposes are what govern every moment of our lives.

Of course, we also have mental pictures that we don't act on. So, what determines whether one set of mental pictures becoming a Purpose rather than any other is the degree to which the Purpose has been thought about. The more frequently and repetitively we think about something, the stronger the Purpose to have it becomes because the mind has recognised whatever this thing is as important to us (why else think about something so much?). This causes no problems when what we want is positive but what if it isn't?

People often play mental games with themselves (Psycho Games) about future events; e.g. ‘Oh my God, what if X or Y happens, what will I do – how will I cope?’ Or we have daydreams about a tragedy befalling us '…which will show them, then they will notice/feel sorry me'. Evidently, these are just thoughts or worries…games! and just because we think these things doesn't mean they’re going to happen... Does it?

The problem is that something that starts as a daydream or a game can, with frequent repetitive thinking become a Purpose.

Camilla often played a Psycho Game where she is attacked in public, at a bus stop, walking down a street etc. She thought about different versions of the same scenario with increasing intensity for many months, although nothing ever happened. She talked about it in a group session she attended and got upset talking about it. When asked why she was upset, Camilla said it wasn't because of the thought of being attacked but because she knew it was her thinking that might lead to it happening.

Of course this wouldn't excuse any attacker should it ever take place but Camilla could see that it would be her thinking that would attract the situation; “If there is someone out there looking for a victim they would find me thinking about being one”.

Camilla went on to reveal that the reason for thinking about being attacked was her way to avoid thinking about loneliness, and this was something (a Psycho Game) she played ever since she was a child, whenever she was alone.

It is common for humans to play Psycho Games that something bad might happen. The things is, if we think these thoughts often enough, our mind perceives these imaginary events to be important to us and we start to develop Purposes to achieve these events, regardless of what they may be.

The mind has programs which run themselves, if we think frequently and repetitively enough about...anything, eventually anything can develop into a Purpose!

If you notice that you have a commonly reoccurring worry/thought then perhaps it’s also a Purpose or on its way to becoming one. In which case, like Camilla, once you see it you can finish it off and start wanting things that will be more beneficial to your life instead.

Law of Thinking No. 3 - The Psycho Games Law

Thoughts that I want to think (by contributing to the mind's thought creating complex), become events that I want to happen.